Embracing Unapologetic You: A Bold Expedition to Authenticity After 50 and Beyond!
My word of the year is unapologetic, and the true meaning of the word has changed for me.
I started off 2023 with a “word of the year” in mind. For 2022, I chose Zen. And to be honest, I still need to be deliberate about calming my mind. However, adding a new word seemed a natural thing to do as we neared a new year, and I chose unapologetic. Why? Because it is also a natural thing for me to repeat to everyone in the Free At 50 world- I keep telling people NOT to apologize: be unapologetically you because you earned it.
My view of being unapologetic has changed with my transition from employee to entrepreneur and with my post-Covid lifestyle overall.
Photo by Ali Dadras on Unsplash
My obsession with the meaning behind apologies started in Las Vegas.
I attended a women’s leadership conference in Vegas a few years back and got both offended and embarrassed walking into the ladies room.
Am I the only one that experiences those two emotions simultaneously when called out?
It was a push/pull situation. One of us “pushed the door” open and one of us “pulled” leading to an awkward and abrupt stop in our movement as well as a face-off.
I said “sorry” and the woman said something like “it’s ok” or “don’t apologize.” The words don’t really matter, it’s what came afterward that matters: she turned out to be a keynote speaker and belittled me from the stage.
In this woman’s world, she found a perfect example for her “motivational” presentation to women: she told our ladies-room story and asked why women feel the need to apologize.
Photo by Claire Sauvin on Unsplash
She went on to say (I’m paraphrasing) how disgusting it is that women “apologize” for no reason and continued her passionate plea for us to take a stand against men and the world in general by taking this action: STOP APOLOGIZING.
She was blatantly wrong. This woman confused kindness and class with innately feeling inferior to men. I do not and never have felt that inferiority she so passionately screamed about like a drill sergeant. There are times to say “sorry” and times be 100% authentically unapologetic.
And I’ve chosen unapologetic as my word for 2023 because of my genuine belief in that statement. Let's start on understanding the meaning of "being unapologetic" with a blank slate.
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Being unapologetic does not mean you go around being rude to people. Let’s talk about what it does mean.
In terms of the Free At 50 world, being unapologetic means you do not apologize for 4 things:
- Making the right decisions for you and your loved ones.
- Putting your health first.
- Enjoying life.
- Working smarter, not harder.
In the end, being you. Unapologetically you.
RELATED: My post on how several entrepreneurs define freedom!
Photo by rebootanika by foodism360 on Unsplash
1 Making the right decisions for you and your loved ones.
You CAN do what you love. I’ve heard people say, “you have to work for it” and I don’t disagree… totally. Yes, you have to work for what you earn; however, must it always feel like work?
Totally NOT. If you want to write instead of managing people. If you want to sell your photography services and art that you create instead of punch in/punch out at an office… you can.
Never apologize for creating a lifestyle and a schedule that allows you:
- Time freedom to there for your family.
- The ability to be location independent.
- To do numbers 2, 3, and 4 below.
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RELATED: Be inspired with the 4-Hour Workweek book!
2 Putting your health first.
If you aren’t alive, then what’s it all for? No, I’m not being dramatic, I’m being honest. Do not kill yourself by putting your health at risk to earn that paycheck!
Corporate burnout is a thing, mental health is important to keep in check.
Physical health can be in danger as well. It can be minor or major, but you can literally make yourself physically ill --- and many 9-5 types do.
Minor: I had a boss that forced me to continually cancel dentist appointments. I didn’t see a dentist for several years because she kept me on a tight leash at her beck and call, to an extreme level. Major: heart attacks can be caused by stress- how many of you know someone taken too early because of one?
How about addiction? I used to walk into one of our local after-5 bars and the bartender knew by my face if I wanted a tequila shot to go with my beer.
Photo credit: Free stock photos on Groove
Yes, I was in my 20s, but it was over-the-top and caused by stress, not any sense of “fun” and partying. The extreme behavior didn’t take hold until my boss that had me cancelling dentist appointments came into my life.
Side note, I quit drinking almost completely after leaving that job (and working in politics as a whole!). Now I may have 1 or 2 glasses of red wine a year, but I was fortunate. I could easily have fallen into addiction as many people do.
Health is my highest priority nowadays. In fact, I stick close to that airline advice about putting your mask on first so you can help others.
I’ve ditched sugar except on a special occasion here and there, I average close to 10000 steps a day and often will top 12 or even 15000 (believe me, living in Michigan, where we had a whole lot of winter, that did not happen), and my overall eating habits have completely changed.
I am 100% unapologetic for not allowing “earning income” the power to kill me.
RELATED: Why health is important: explained by Very Well Mind here!
Photo credit: Daphne Reznik
3 Enjoying life and being everything that makes you, you.
It’s simple. We are only here once that we know of for sure. We’re on limited time, a blip in the history of the world. I used to want to make my mark but now, I want to EXPERIENCE everything I love and have an impact on people.
I don’t need to “make a mark” on everyone everywhere only to be deleted and outdone by some future version of a gal like me… nope. Now I want to truly impact people through this blog, through my words, and 1:1 when I can!
My current status: living where I used to vacation, reading more books than ever, and doing something (almost daily!) history related. Again: I live where I used to vacation and that is Colonial Williamsburg.
To me, living in the largest living history museum in the world is enjoying life to the max.
Being me means allowing myself the time and space to do the things I love and spend time with the people I love. Being unapologetically me. Do that for yourself!
RELATED: Let's get you living life on your terms. Book a call with me to discuss my 3-2-1 take ACTION plan by clicking here.
Photo credit: Daphne Reznik
4 Working smarter, not harder.
You do NOT have to prove yourself by working 80 hours a week. (even 40 in fact!) Some days I work 12+ hours. Others, I do a few work-related tasks or nothing at all. It’s about completing goals and working in the flow. It’s about time freedom.
Working smarter:
- Setting goals and breaking them down into projects then tasks.
- Being deliberate with my to-do list and my calendar.
- Saying no when it doesn’t make the most sense to say yes.
- Batching work.
- Doing 10-minute tasks.
(and each item above may be a whole blog post at some point- because let’s be honest, they can be!).
RELATED: My 5 tips for being organized in business will help!
Photo by Marissa Grootes on Unsplash
Is being unapologetic a bad thing? No, not in my Free At 50 world of corporate escape and in ditching the conditioning I’ve received as a member of GenX.
I boil it all down to this:
- Be a good person.
- Tell people you’re sorry when you should.
- Prioritize properly.
To close out this post: I’m sorry when it’s appropriate, but I’m always going to be unapologetic for being a human who seeks health, happiness, and time freedom.
What will you be unapologetic for going forward?
1) Comment below
2) Join my Ditching the 9-5 Facebook group here and join the daily conversations by clicking here!
3) Book a call with me by clicking here and get started on doing life YOUR WAY. If you want to work together after the call, we can get you taking action with my 3-2-1 take ACTION plan.
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